Since black-out drinking has come up… I have some experience. I did things I’d never do sober, that I haven’t done since. Please don’t judge me on based on that. Judge me on how I handle the aftermath. Being drunk isn’t an excuse, just an explanation, and I am still responsible.
I have had someone confront me with something that I had *no memory* of doing. Here’s what I said: “I don’t remember doing that, but I am in no position to deny it. What can I do to make this right? What do you need from me?” /2
Sometimes, that person will still want a full apology. OK, I can apologize for even putting that person in a situation where I was ABLE to do something hurtful. But I’ve also had the experience of someone not realizing I was in a blackout, and that taking a lot of sting out. /3